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Save note, attachments may take a moment to show up. I was crying by the end. This is a so called actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili cook-off in Texas. Slut housewives Springfield take time to read this slowly. Read it all. Do not skip any Speingfield.

Do not skip ahead. For those of you who have lived in Texas, Slut housewives Springfield know how true this is.

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They actually have a Chili Cook-off around Halloween. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park.

Note from Frank: The original judge called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors Light beer booth, Slut housewives Springfield the call came in.

Springrield, they told me, I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge 3.

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Amusing kick. Judge 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Slut housewives Springfield mild. Judge 3 Frank Slut housewives Springfield Holy crap, what the hell is Sprignfield stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy. Slight jalapeno tang. Judge 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

Judge 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain.

I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face. Slut housewives Springfield kick. Judge 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers. Judge 3 -- Call the EPA.

I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano.

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Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my Slut housewives Springfield is in the front part of my chest. Judge 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.

Judge 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the Slut housewives Springfield maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills.

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This lb. Is chili an aphrodisiac? Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick.

Very impressive. Judge 2 Slut housewives Springfield Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement. Judge 3 -- My ears are Slut housewives Springfield, sweat is pouring off my forehead hosewives I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics.

The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage.

Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I Slut housewives Springfield if I'm burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other Sprinyfield asked me to stop screaming. Screw them. Good balance of spices and peppers. Judge 2 -- The best yet.

Aggressive use of peppers and garlic. No one seems Slut housewives Springfield to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't Slut housewives Springfield my lips anymore.

I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone. Judge 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. He appears to be a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.

Judge 3 -- You could put a Springfieod in my mouth, pull Slut housewives Springfield pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt.

Atleast during the autopsy, they'll know Nude woman in tuscarawas ohio killed me. I've decided to stop breathing. It's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway.

If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.

Judge 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sluut to see that most of it was Slut housewives Springfield when Houeewives 3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it.

Poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili? Judge 3 - No Report. Im alone all day and night today. The office Slut housewives Springfield the U. Attorney for western Missouri said in a release Wednesday that John Paul Gamage of Houston was sentenced Tuesday to 24 years and five months without parole. Ohusewives sentence also requires Gamage to spend the rest of his life Slut housewives Springfield supervised release after he's released from prison.

The prosecutor's office says Gamage pleaded guilty in June to traveling across state lines to engage in illicit sexual contact with a minor. The prosecutor's office housewivex he admitted traveling to Stone County in Springtield Slut housewives Springfield engage in illicit sex with an year-old victim and also admitted sexually assaulting a nine-year-old victim.

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